I use to "hope" i can be a fashion photographer, not e lousy ones.. But e ones who r really good. And besides that, i hope i can sell my fine art prints as well as doin freelance photography services + graphic designing in e far future.

But... Today, while fixing my new website.. I feel like pulling down that fashion catergory.. Bcux it's not as good as i thought so. It's only "good" towards other ppl. By listening, probably is good. But by looking, i suddenly realised it sucks big time!! So.. My "dream" kinda dropped abit.. Bcux i suddenly think i couldnt make it there. N looks like i can do any other portrait better than fashion itself. Sad sad.. Depress depress.. I doubting whether my current thoughts is inferior.. Let me think more.

However, i've been doing different things in photography without knowing for awhile. Creating postcards n sell is one of them. It probably will lead me to selling fine art prints in e future than any fashion thingy related. And saying bout graphic designing, it has somehow partially fulfilled.. Jus tat it has failed, but not so badly. I've assign to design for a really big company. However, some things are not like i thought so. It probably will fail.. Not yet fail actually. It's jus tat it fails my expectation.

Pending.. Pending.. Hope more good news comes along..

Sometimes i feel im jus like a criminal. Lose control n spending so much money on food n entertainment. But when passingby handicapped beggars, i tell myself i shouldnt lose control anymore. I wanted to u-turn to give some money to them, but i didnt. Im guilty conscious.

I love to sleep because i dont want to see this sad world. But i shouldnt sleep too much anymore.. I shall catchup with my dreams, with the things i wana do.

Here r some random photos of ytd's opening preview for noise singapore showcase 2012. My photoworks, life of a color pencil n seashell in a footstep has been selected to exhibit. It's at B4 ION Orchard, it will b showing from 16 feb to 4th mar, 10am to 9pm.

Im a fool, still a fool.

I've a nightmare again. A nightmare of my capabilities. I know my english is damn bad. N im doin alot of things that needs it to be good so much. Some things that i need not do in my life but i still did. Bcuz i wana b sucessful in my own way. Different ppl have different weakness n potential,nt lettin down myself bcux i've this n that not able to do well. If i dont try, i'll forever b a coward n will nv improve my move on.. I wana conquer fear.. I wana b where i wana b. Atleast try.

The grass at night should b dark n non-vibrance. How come today the grass all looks so vibrancely green? Is it bcux the moon is extraordinary bright n it affects the earth.. Or isit bcux my eyesight is better today? Or mayb im jus not tat observant the rest of the day uh?

I like to look at pictures, i like to observe how things was made. I like to look through photos for memories purpose. Jus random few sentence of wat i feel like sayin out here.

My camera is meant to be at home for this moment.

The sky so blue, so nice. Thick thick white clouds inspires me to shoot the texture of it. But need to work.. No time to spare, cant bring out camera to shoot. Not even have time for lunch. That's unhealthy right? Tryin to think of ways to improve it thou.

Even eating supper alone.. Can self-inspired to make a short film. Even just eating supper, can flash so many scenes n angles in my mind of the stories to b made in tat short film. Mind-burst.